You could've Said

You could've said,
no, it isn't the way you think at all
I really cared
in my heart you have
a place
for rest
and your face
brings me joy.

The universe I made
you're a part
my cozy
little circle
encircles you too
and smiles
are free
part of me.

You could have said.

Hedging me now
silence follows silence
little snatches of memory
tell me I'm right
not good enough
too many faults
too many tales to tell
about me.

How I'm this and that
how the world I made
is a broken cabin
with a floor needing sweeping.
I'm mad and the stream
flowing through to your ocean
only carries the best
drowns the rest
hands up now
drowning; you'd let me.

You don't need me to hold your head
and sing you lullabies while you sleep
love you when there was never
any reason to do so.
My cup is full, overflowing
I would have drowned you too
in laughter
and sweetness.

You could lie
now no reason to do it
I have nothing you want anymore
your desire to keep me on the shelf
is waning.
Wanting to hold on
knowing I gotta let go.

Just another chapter
where the heroine slept
as gods traipsed
heavily steps
through her soul
leaving muddy prints
larger than life
she needs to sweep away.

You could've said
no you're wrong
you could've said
a million empty words
and I would've believed.

Oh well, my love is boundless
pristine and clean
unconditionally
there are many many many trees
waiting for my touch
to grow.
So the book is still open
and if the god's come back
this time
I'm awake.