Friday, November 11, 2011

Safety in Trees

The three
safety in trees
opening to the sky
again something I forgot to remember
They long for the ground
and all the things
needed to make a man.
Trying to bring me back
to a place I don't want to be
whining won't change it I guess
my lot has been thrown
might as well be happy
the masked man is waiting
the trap is set
just a few more steps
I'm all in.
Just wanted a place to hide
but nowhere to run
where there are no eyes.
Not so far in
I can't find the way out
Think this time I can resist
walking your fucking walk to nowhere
How to be strong
but not too strong
How to be soft
but not too soft
How to say enough
just not too much.
Malleable motherfucking clay
illogical stupidity
will I be 85
wrinkled beyond recognition
feeling this way?
God damn.
How do I turn it off?
There has to be a button to press
a shift in my mind
a new way of thinking
complete perception.
Maybe it's like being ill
you just gotta wait it out
do the opposite
of what you feel.
There is safety in the trees
but what do I do when I'm not there?

Happy places and Bull Shit

He was safe; untouchable muse
a light, a dream, low lying fog
across a swamp
tendrils of Spanish moss hung
from trees
the air so heavy humid
the frogs in the muck
resounding melodies
echo in the moonlight.
Machetes.
Whistles.
An owl hooting breaks the cabaret
top hat dreams of toads in streams.
Battle time
Battle Toads.
Done apologizing.
If I will dance then I guess I'll dance
with ice in my veins
ripping, shredding, matriculating
Take a walk with me through hell
don't worry I'll hold your hand
When you get lost
the only way up is down
bodies lying prone on rocks
on fire
Demons flying
always laughing
never anything to say
forgotten the way
Domes of light above me
straight through the triangle and out again...
Mother ship
ET fucking phone home.
Rats chewing on bones in paper streets
Pulled away by powerful hands from the skies
all that is real
taken away.
I've got sucked in again
God damn it.
So hard to free myself
a curtain is pulled back
the road is open
I refuse.
Your party hat your dredge
Anger is honest
hate is genuine
Love is a kaleidoscope of missteps
and confusion.
A groove, a niche
a place to put me
till you've swallowed your needs.
When the cloud is lifted
you lie alone
clinging to a chewed off arm
wondering what the fuck went wrong.
Disaster.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Amusing

You came with your hat and your gun
sweet smell of your breath in mine
your dopey smile
he came with his beautiful brown eyes
looking into mine
innocent
wanting so much to please
but now he's just the wind blowing
in the back of my mind
and a sadness I can't seem to run from.
He stuck his hand in my chest
pulled out my heart with his music
now I can't get away from the sounds
he left behind.
The revolution has begun
I hear the clamor in the streets
a stones throw from the house of the king
and queen who see the times
drink a glass of wine
in an iron-clad ivory tower.
Stronger by the hour
to destroy from the outside in.
I can only wait
send energy
hoping for the best.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Thank you

Everything seems so wrong
there's no where i can rest
grasping air
falling.
I'm not sure I should
but I see no road
no played -out- too- much rewind
Free to go in any direction
at this time just be
it's a lonely way.
Pole dancing on tombstones
in the cemetery at night
sacrilegious
but is anything really sacred anymore?
Cat dancing to the blood moon at midnight
la chaim
the wine tastes like deliverance
deliver me from the nothing I've become.
I'm sorry I couldn't be that person
the one you been counting on
I'm sorry I'm not perfect
and don't even care to be.
I'm sorry I didn't cross the t's and dot the i's
in my own life
and everything is falling apart.
but isn't it all just zeros and ones?
I apologize to an empty room
where's mirrors hold my judgement
the gavel,  the sound of my heart beating
the blood to my brain.
I am the nothing that is something
but nothing nonetheless.