Chaos of What ifs

What if
butterfly wings never spread
in your head
steps taken
better off dead.

The ice
is on the inside of the window
freezing  now
stone still
the movie plays.

Children at work.

The rope is thick but
with bailing string
intertwined
enough to tie around my wrists
throw the heavy line
over the rafters
she can rise.

If you weren't so fat
it wouldn't take two of us to pull you up.
Yea
it's my fault.
But not fat enough to pull
my arms out of socket suckers.

So vulnerable but never again.
The child is dead.
In her place
cold stone hate.

No matter how long
it's buried
sooner or later
it's gotta rise.
Motherfuckers.
Fuck you is my stance on the story.

But what if the river
flowed
behind me
steps I've taken known
will produce
results.

Take note
you seven
I will find you.
One down six to go
how did it feel?
I know you now
as my bitch. Bitch.

When I'm done.
Then I'll cry
and maybe get on with my life.
a survivor.

Things have changed
I live in a dollhouse
two suvs in the yard
my cream has risen
to the top
look at me smile
see it's not so bad.
Innocent eyes wife and child.
smile.

War.
Warrior.
Warrioress.
With nothing to lose.

The sins of the father's visited on the sons.
Check your history books
and see where you stand.
Do I take your sacrifice?
lull.
willingly.

And Mother where were you?
what did you do?
What if.
You had noticed?
Turn your eyes away
carry on with your disguise
now you slowly lose your mind
helpless chaos.

My love was a chicken
who laid a golden egg
watched as the hen
found my fate
upside down
blood drained into a cup.
Drink it up.

Ssshhh Sherezade
999 more to go
and only you know me.
Butterfly flit
flit flit flit your clit.
I think I've bought some time
with my rhyme.
Free my time
and since there is no God
no one judges me now.

Let the hammer fall.
I'm really great
at picking up the pieces
let it crash
burn
Ijdgaf.