Tuesday, July 26, 2011


Hallowed ground reach for the west
Amazing how long things last
when you're alone.
But the light, air, and cosmos
blowing in and out
lungs clear

Everything I never wanted to say
all the times I lied
pretending to be that
when all the time
this is who I am.
At this time.

I am a trampoline of misconceptions
bouncing from high to low
enjoying the ride
wondering what consequences I leave behind. 

None I guess because
I swim with the dead
who see me as the bottom of a grave
they can lay on me
but they must change to rot
to get inside.

MY stomach cares
my heart isn't there
and when my brain takes hold
there is no remorse
no love
just pure thought.

I want to fall endlessly
back into feeling i care
feeling you care
trembling lips
by the logic 
by the stoic
by the thought 
if you ever touched me
a would vomit
pearls, diamonds, emeralds, and gold.

Ugly is an open field
of no restraint
dances without thought
of who or what or where
or what eyes
are not seeing.
Ugly is a paradise
of invisibility.
Fucking superpower.

Saturday, July 16, 2011


To hide,
up rocky crevices, footing precarious, ankle strong, teeth at my neck,
He's coming.
Cloud as black as a cave desposes thoughts of the sun
Dreams I am twisting devils in slime writhe to the beat of the snake charmers
Across my back,  hands around my neck, I'm crushed
Arms around my shoulders body in a vice can't breathe can't walk
losing control
his puppet
his voice
his brain
Level land, barren. dry underbrush. briars, like razor wire wrap around
my legs
blood flows
He's coming
with his dark cloud, to suffocate me in delicious pain where at
least I feel

Freddie Says

Freddie says he's gonna cut my wrists
and pull my veins into ropes where I can swing from cherry trees
smile, sigh,
I want to be like her
she met death in the dark his white teeth gleaming
felt his hands on her neck came close to loving his embrace
then she straddled the earth
spread her legs wide and let the earth in
she'd never been fucked like that before.
Freddie tried to cut my wrists but couldn't saw thru the chains god made
you don't have to swing
it's enough you're here, the sky is blue the air is clean
and cherry's are for picking.


My sweet Gabriel  low whispers flutter
wings breathe in my ear
joy and sorrow live in your voice.
Your world opens to my left abundance
springs from my dream
You are at my side all along
I look for your smile in every face
your countenance in every voice timbre soft
Reveling in your arms lost in your smile
perfection, redemption, gibberish to the normal ear
becomes my salvation.
I will be with you soon and you will know me
for now I am my own angel wings.

Fucking Sausage and Bacon

Phone's ringing in the morning
somebody's always knocking on my door
Fucking sausage or fucking bacon
I can't take it anymore.
I'm trying to enter Vahhalla dammit
Utopia, Nirvana, Heaven
I'm trying to be with Gabriel and dance the duende bleeding soul
But it's fucking sausage or fucking bacon
ice cream truck music and suck my balls
the yard is overtaking the house
the neighbors know we forgot the trash.. A GAIN
the dishes are piled high, the tile needs repaired
but I want to fly with angels feel the magic in the air
tap into the cosmos and speak with God
but it's fucking sausage or fucking bacon
somebody for God's sake walk the god damned dog.

Gandalf in my room

You're one big intestine, crawling on your instincts
I made you my magic mirror gilded gold; destructable
Melting you down now
hacking through your strings, your web, your hole
Gabriel close your door
there's no fish here anymore.
They filter thru my universe and walk upon my stage
players many
some amazing (those don't last for long)
some steady
some purple some blue
I welcome them all
and watch from the sidelines as they attempt to manipulate my dream
you can only have the sitcom
the drama's playing out in the stream running from Jung
and im going with it; untouchable.
Come inside and be my chair
be my table my desk my jar
I will watch as  you dance
attempt to infiltrate the battleground
ten swords and it's over.

Never Enough

One drop of rain one snowflake a single grain of sand
a billion times to make the plan
You were always up on peace, unity, building bridges
I was always the sword bearer cutting through to the heart
An embarassment now my needs are too base
my lines are crooked
the reptiles have made me their goddess queen.
I accept.
My colors are bold
Locked in a tube
My arias ethereal
smashed in my throat

The orange monster's coming
smashing through the trees
gnashing trees drooling biting
eyes reflecting his unknown need.
trampling the soft grass outlying the dew on the morning glorys.
Early morning feast on my soul.
Drink my blood
I've seen you coming for years.

You are judgement
I am unworthy.
The secret you kept shining eyes
"what makes you think you can sit on our throne?"
Peasant girl, dirty girl, tainted soul, we have your heart
in our palms in our laughs we know
"you are late"
 I showed up with a dwarf in tow
 the nuptials were exquisite 2 halves made whole
you made off to the mountains
to hide in your books
that's when I came to know
I was never really important anyway.

There's a dome in the west
I am an outsider
flying down the rushing rapids alone.

But once I stopped
then beauty possessed me four times
unaware ( i was locked in stone the child still is)
wrapped in cosmic linen hood of burlap spider webs.

I became aware and everyone, everything was gone.
But ghosts, memories, replayed movies in my mind
by a tree i slept for ages
in the grass i slumbered on
and when i woke
everything was gone.

There's a tree in the forrest unlike any
I've ever seen
delicate limbs
sun fires shines through the leaves
deep roots ancient lines
holding on for dear life
whispering your mine.

Bury me at the foot
like I've never been
wide awake and letting go
to the beauty of the green.

Drinking the Purple Stuff

Twenty three walls front and back
   a quarter mile of carpet
   hand me down furniture
   still smelling like cigarettes and beer.
   The oven doesn't work, the burners
    turned on and off with pliers
    pilot light goes out
    the ceiling fan is hanging low
    doesn't work anymore.
     A front door which won't close
     Eleven windows, two sans screens,
     one screen repaired with duct tape.

     Picture windows, front and back, look
     out on the neighbors houses
     the yard is crab grass bare in places.
     The trees are overgrown.

      This is my home.
       This is MY castle.

       Yes, I am queen.
       and yes I get pissed.

        When you sit on my throne, "Get OUT OF MY CHAIR"
        Or attempt to take my staff " Fuck where's the remote"
        Block the carriage house     "Don't park in my driveway"
        Or dare to defy my ordinances.
        By the blood of my hands
        by the flat of my ass   (i work sitting all day)
        this is my castle
        brick, drywall, and glass.



Crawling with wonder
   curious tasting
   what when where how
   five alive how i came to know
   the world.
   Show me
   hot cold burnt
   lonely laughing love

   Surrounded with mirrors
    disdain outcast wrong
    chance steps
    the world came
    to know me.

   The mold stay in
    go that way forget your mind
    feelings hide
    step into the outlines
    of the steps before deep running
    from the right
    from the left
    no miracles here.

     I woke up in my 46th year
     completely aware
     eyes opened
     wishing to go back
     to where i was before

     Trying to hide in my obsessions
      to fix my mind on the inconsequential
      the universe is inside me
      as it expands I wither
      dry up blow away.

       The crowd gathers in confusion
        the answers don't make sense anymore
        there are no outlines to follow
         My picture isn't yours to paint
         My song isn't yours to write
         My story isn't yours to narrate.

          I am free.


And... when you died.. a bolt of lightening that shoots through the sky
became a lord who frowns well.
I guess you took the good times w/ the bad.
white sheets of snow rowing in boats
pristine beaches; heads would roll

Women wailing in the hills comets falling from the sky
two headed people kept in zoos
disappearing into the night.

Sacrifice those blue men.
Throw their heads down
rip out their hearts as offering
but you're still going to die.

On a side note...
Why do you think you have to prove to me you're complete?
Like Illhoicamina I renamed your shadow since  you've gone.

I always liked your broken peices
and all the things that never fit.

The way you think your mask holds up
as you roll up your self into a safe coccoon.

I don't want the star that shines
it's the earth I'm looking for
all those rotten places
you don't visit anymore.

It was always change and something different
which made the great ones fall
like coming out of the cave
and blinded by it all.

As much as we want to pretend
we weren't awakened by the sun
the shadows hold no gold for us
knowledge can't be undone.

What's important

Glue and mucous
the morning after taste of sulfur and eggs
trying to kill you
by killing myself
"Dude, that shit's fucked up."
what pool have you been swimming in?

It's real purple, blue, glitter juice.
I am my eyes
and everything you hate
is living in me.

I'm the little boy
shut up in a closet
told not to move
an inch
torture to the wild heart
wanting freedom.

Slice me; I bleed.

It doesn't matter.
I'm really just the wind
through the trees
leaning trees; crying to an empty sky.

Om ha huang.
Mother empty spaces are everything
until I'm the empty spaces
the cracks in the sidewalk
the silent pause
before speaking
the nothing
which is everything.

"The whole goal is find the mind of God, from the dirt
of the forest."

So I guess I'll walk on............


Wither, disinegrate
and all the games we played
what we thought was important
needed, wanted, longed for
Do you regret it?
Why should I?
Photos and shorties
seeds we plant now
keep it all turning.
Smiling faces, photos, families
screaming we are more
than dust.
Biding time till the great goodbye
the only supernatural event
we ever really experience.1
Bugs on wax faces
body parts hanging
the whole walking
talking waiting

1. Ann Rice,the witching hour,1980

A Cerokee Legend (I didn't write it)

The little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake was getting old. He asked, "Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one last time before I die." The little boy answered "No Mr. Rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you'll bite me and I'll die." The rattlesnake said, "No, I promise. I won't bite you. Just please take me up to the mountain." The little boy thought about it and finally picked up that rattlesnake and took it close to his chest and carried it up to the top of the mountain.
They sat there and watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful. Then after sunset the rattlesnake turned to the little boy and asked, "Can I go home now? I am tired, and I am old." The little boy picked up the rattlesnake and again took it to his chest and held it tightly and safely. He came all the way down the mountain holding the snake carefully and took it to his home to give him some food and a place to sleep. The next day the rattlesnake turned to the boy and asked, "Please little boy, will you take me back to my home now? It is time for me to leave this world, and I would like to be at my home now." The little boy felt he had been safe all this time and the snake had kept his word, so he would take it home as asked.
He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die. Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. "Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!" The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."
Here is the same story. Told slightly differently.
Often times young boys were sent from the village in search of a vision. This was the case of one particular young native boy.
He started to go up to the top of a mountain in search of his vision. And as he climbed up the mountain, the air got cooler and cooler. And he came upon a snake laying in the path. The snake was shivering, and said to the boy. "Please help me. I can't move, I am so cold that I can no longer make it any further down the mountain."
The boy said to the snake "No way! You're a snake, if I pick you up, you'll bite me!" The snake replied. "No, no I won't, I promise I won't bite you if you'll only pick me up and help get me down the mountain."
So the young boy picked up the snake, put him in his shirt, and continued climbing to the top of the mountain in search of his vision. When he got back down to the bottom of the mountain, he reached in, took out the snake, and the snake bit the young boy.
The boy replied to the snake "Hey! You bit me, you said that if I'd help you out, that you wouldn't bite me!"
The snake replied "But you knew what I was when you picked me up!"


There's too much space
thinning out till soon
drifting out till when
receding till there's nothing left.

While blowing away
nothing to hold on
nowhere to run
no anchor in the sea


I know why you're there
in that Taiwan hotel
in that Parisian bathtub
Brentwood bungalow
Fuhrer bunker
Eva let go of my hand.

I'm sorry.

The sharks are swimming
the teeth are gnashing
naked bodies writhing

Barefoot walk on coals
jolly Buddha laugh
there are stars in my eternity
there is light
darkness is a cool drink of water.

Incubus Gabriel
with your wings of snow
soul inclusion
with your grace
I'll stay.


Troll asque like but not like
only moments
stare beyond the veil

Two old men
in comraderie walking
In Minorca
land of paradise.
Sun cooled by the sea
we are not our skin
Crows feet, squinting from the sun
the air is clean.
The breaths they take pure
souls unknowingly accepting
the seasons
with a  smile.

Simple bread
love and acceptance of self.
Meat is the stasis, steady
line walked
work is the bread,
glorious comfort
is the pillow clean.

Wings to the men of Minorca
if I could ever walk their trail
not for want
but for acceptance
and longing
could I be clean.


Take the warm blood
   to connect
   lack the inhibition
   what he wants
   Jacob is his lust.

   "You know my hands
     my feet you know my life
     my dreams
     you are the secret place
     I hide safe
     you know me
     knowing me I wrap
     myself in you
     want you
     need you
     be me and I'll be you, one man."

     Jacob said to Gabriel just bless me and I'll let go. 
     Take this heart as pure as snow.

      Gabriel is a demigod
      who God will never forget
       Dark eyes smooth white skin
       exquisite perfection: angel
       no matter how dark the night
       his light
       radiant with a smile

       Offer your grace bless me and I'll let go.

        Sweet embrace skin on skin
        turns to melee
        longing clashes with taboo
        I love you, don't love you
        I want you, don't want you
        you are me
        beautiful wings
        the angels are placing bets
        To acheive Gabriel's grace the highest reward
         a blessing a kiss
         Jacob wants wants wants wants wants
         Gabriel is the prize
          love me; be me.

          Matching dark eyes, twins
          The angel relents
           "Bless you Jacob I am yours."

Jenny Say Qua

Determined rapture
such a low defeat
time humanity
another beat
such a strange place to be.

Hide behind my mocking laugh
sweet face
you need
I can't be
your mother but
I'll be
a standby dream
you can wake
and smile
in my face
and I'll give you
sweet dreams.

You've nearly wrecked your oasis
behind hair eyes

Strong muscle joe
fight the good fight
stay alive
speak the words
there are angels in the hood
wearing black blending in
engraved on the backs of men
where we've been
and there we go......
Always alone.


And all the green monsters wail
and all good things are now mine.
Dragons gone wild
Blowing fire and hot ash
destroying those too weak to stand.
Can you stand?
Or have you spread yourself upon a wasteland
which is the right thing to do?
and all the little froggies dance
all the little girls raise open hearts above their heads
do you love me when I bleed?
do you love me when I need?
So what if you did?
So what if we did?
So what if they did?
We all die in the end.
Chaos is sublime.
Anarchy is 9-5.
Truth is a rope in my hand.
A silent belly crawl through the mud.
Two lines of black across each cheek
warrior queen.
I gotta let  you go pet
because you refuse to dance
and dancing is everything.


We all spread them
even blowing men who remember
what it's like
being face down
in the middle
of a good lay.
Or what?
With your empty eyes
sweet sighs.
I close mine.
Couldn't ever
What was it you were going to say?
Dirty nails drooling snails
sliming sodden trails
Was that it? Or maybe something else?
Wooden seats in the auditorium
folded down
the smell of bubble gum and eraser dust
you were blonde lust
hard chest
you sulked over
sat down like it was hard to do.
wanna be wit you.
Smiled traded numbers
yes, the theater group moves on in the summer
and I go too
but for awhile
wanna be with you.
All liquid eyes, soft hands, and lips
smelling like a cage full of slaves
washed clean
by a heavy rain
is this what it's like to be IN love?
Let me go back into the woods
like the animal I am
Cheers Ozzy, bark at the moon
naked in a bed of moss
as for the rest it's all lost
the one I love don't love me
so I guess I'll be spreading my wings...

Walkin in the Mall

There are mirrors in the mall
with a library of pictures & opinions
judgements and calls
though the wall blocks
we all connect
it's physics and all.
S in the first circle
to s in the oxygen to s
in the circumference of pi
to the air you breathe
connects you to me.

And it's all arbitrary
because we can't understand
when our universe meets
eye to eye for a moment
stop time
molecules of sight
chemistry shoots me into you
with a look.

And I visit your place
the moments that make you you
decisions you make
laws you break
passions which move you
greed which drives you
the way you move your lips
tells me more than your words
could ever.

And we walk on....

Purses in neon green pink fake leather
look look look
don't meet eyes
hypnotized by everything to buy
I could be
a beauty queen
if I had those jeans
i'd be fly
aint no lie
with a g from VSD
just above my low riders
that would be me.

There's a factory in the south of France
grinding up roses by the field full
extracting extracting flower after petal
elixir a base
replaced by oh we can copy
with chemistry
& make it cheaper
than grinding roses trees life ground
up to adorn
the beautiful ass
below those low riders.

Buy only real
the other
crap smells like alcohol in an hour.

Moving on...

Old man & woman by the way
she leads
he is thin never eats
oh no bother we
take what we need
but just what we need
jack sprat could eat no fat
his wife could eat no lean.

Meet UP!

Cinnamon buns takes three to eat one
He has a baby face
tells me stories
Pupils dilate as he lies
Beach bum loose shirt nice ass
dont turn around you look better from the back
a scene girl refuses to eat
the meat in the seat
he loves her
but she's got to do her hair.
Max 300
he moves
baby face has passion his pudgy cheeks don't relay
move move move movemove move
I'm not that boy
who sang along to A Kevorkian song
then was laughed at
till he hung himself and died
or was that just a lie?
2 seconds till the end
Max 300 wins again. Fail.
Stepping down he flings his
sweaty shirt my way
thinking I'll like the smell
but nope he's got no genes to tell.

Time to go...

Moving quickly the scene girl
emotions she doesn't understand
loves them all but loves no man
moves swiftly past the puppies we needed to pet
the lingerie we needed to get
into the sunlight
in the car.
Country roads
smoking grape blunts
corn feild's harvest is great
back to the farm back to the cave
sun goes down
finishing the day....

Dark Rooms

Walking in red velvet
lights go down
in the dark with you
you're in me
and I don't realize
when the lights go up
I'll be forever changed
all the things
which mattered
or I cared about
Being touched by a God
awe stricken
hours later
you are all around me
my heart is full
never coming down.
Sing to me in French
and I'll lay down beside you
forever changed.


Everything I've ever really wanted
His smiling face follows me
wherevr I go I see
the pic he left on facebook
the same as the pic he left on myspace
the same as the one he left on pof
and now on meet up
and aol.
Why don't I give him a chance
to wow me with witty conversation
I can see right through?
But he's so smart
and i'm so stupid
but he does it right
and I am so left
he has life figured out
im in the dark
he knows what decisions to make
i draw straws
i could never be good enough.
He probably comes home taking off snow white socks
in an immaculate home
opens the door to his shining, gleaming, fridge
to get a bottle of cabernet sauvigon
(I can't even spell)
to go with the prime rib his chef hands made.
He retires to his den
to go over the notes of a song
on his baby grand.
I am an orphan selling match sticks
no one wants to buy
till  they find my cold stiff body
lying in the snow
as the passers pass on by.


Long lines S in the sand
white groovy tables
drink in my hand.
Palm trees
green leaves
space to breath
what I need.

Fire up
bleed me dry
I'm so empty
can't even cry

Yesterday is a mystery
when you live life backwards
time and space
all in one place
quantum me-chan-ics.

Damn she's fucked up
now I gotta wear sleeves
just because I like it hot
and like to watch it bleed.

At least I'm real
better than what you can make up
photo shop the hell out of it
maybe then you'll make the cut.
Maybe you'll finally
shut the fuck up.



Blue velvet purple cotton gold lines
moonbeam spraying
the man in the moon
needs to close his eyes
quit watchin
just let me look
fly up to the sky
and be one.

Level down....

Glaciers, snow and ice
crashing waves
chill to the bone
aurora borealis
in the dark
lights nightmare
naked in the snow

Level down....

Palm trees in a Santa Monica spring
hot sand
muscle builders
bikini'd round asses
golden people
step over the homeless
to get to heaven.

Level Down...

Backwoods cabin
in the dewy morning wood
smell of damp earth
axe in a stump
barefoot in moss
running free
We make our own electricity
morning, noon, and night
12 legs to prove it
need fed.

Level Down...

Paper doll president
building bridges with a name
and a face
make them love us again
so we can
so they can
make deals drills
capitalist gods pull puppet strings
in four long
years the
conservative republicans
will grow richer
harvesting the crop
crossing the bridges
we think we've built.

Level down....

All we have is the good heart
the love we feel
spread it in everything you do
make it wash you clean
respect your brother
mother, daughter,
we're here in this prison
Hold my hand
and I'll lift you a

Level up....

Holes in my Hand

Don't worry this is a dream.

From the inside of my mouth
my cheeks spring flowers
slide my hands down your back
you're afraid
making a rug
looming wool inch by inch line by line
webbing webs
I wish you could trust me.
But you probably shouldn't
I'll cut you down
not even realizing I'm doing it.
Living in a snow globe
has its disadvantages.

God I love you so much
it's too bad you don't exist.

"Trust me.. she'll let me do it
I'm in complete control."

From the bottom of your toes
the softness of your feet
sweet lines of your leg
Creating a man with words
pulling his essence out with letters
still life
no life
two dimensional relationships
are the best
there's no downside,
I'll never have to cringe when I discover you're human.

PLease don't say you mind
it takes all kinds of stokes
to form a wheel
even if they're of the crooked kind
like mine.
My obsession keeps me occupied
so I don't get too bored.

Running fast through
summer forest
branches whipping my face
thorns scratching my legs
I left my obsession by the the stream
leaving me alone in my mind
if you wonder if you're crazy
then you must not be
or at least that's what I've heard
good thing.

All I can say is I'm sorry
I really really apologize
look at the holes in my hands
look at them deep and wide
I've hung myself upon a cross for you
by my own desire--crucified.


I'm usually not very political but I would still like to express my opinion about what I think is really going on...
 When Bush was in office we had 8 long years of cowboy justice. Roping and riding one hot Texan got America to kick some ass and take some names.  Can I get a YEE haw brother? Amen.  That Michael Moore crap about him absorbing the news about 911 in a class room of kids and continuing to read..? What did Michael Moore want him to do? Scare the hell out of the kids and jump up and run?  He was THINKING.. with great power comes great responsibility and a lot of fucking thinking. Anyway...
 So we got some cowboy justice. We kicked some ass. Great.. Lost lives, :( hate it but we can't let those extreme muslim bastards think they can just do that to the greatest country in the world and not get some retribution and continue to get retribution.
 So the result was a lot of animosity, more so than usual, from Arab countries. Gas prices rose and problems with our allies in the middle east. So what do we do?  How do we fix this? When I say we.. I don't mean us.. as in everyday Americans we go to work everyday then come home and hug our tvs at night... But the WE that is actually in charge the rich powerful people behind the scenes. What do they do to mend the fence? Build the bridge? Smooth over some of the animosity so Arabs and Americans can at least be polite again.. Most definitely not by putting another white conservative republican in office no way.. that would lead us all on the way to world war 3... No.. let's show the world what a NICE, liberal, easy going, country we are.. We will put a man in office to build bridges, to show the Arabs we can play nice too. What better way to build that bridge than with a black man named  Barack Hussein Obama, Jr.?   Perfect!
  Well, when we say people run the USA, it's true but it is not us. We don't. The rich do.  We are a capitalist society and the rich are in charge.. just the way it is. Don't try to fight it just watch your tv.. sleep, work.. dream... The rich will take care of us sheep because they need us to fuel their money machines. 
  So black man with an arab name. It don't get no better than this for mending fences and building bridges with the arab world.  We'll avoid WWW III, we'll play nice to get the oil prices down, and after Obama has done that.. 4 years that's all he gets,  they will put another rich white conservative in office to capitalize on all the bridges Obama built. The rich will get richer we will still be watching tv, drinking beer, and keep on keeping on...
  The next time you think we voted in Obama.. think again.. we vote, we think we are making a difference, but really the rich and poweful are pulling ALL the strings politically. 

 Sorry bout all the typos, I have just started writing again and I am really rusty.
 But the more you do it.. the more you CAN do it.

  Let me add I LOVE America. It is the best country in the world and all of us have good hearts and want to do the right thing but sometimes we just end up doing the EASIEST thing. It's human nature, avoid pain look for gain. 

All ur base are us

English speak
through cultures
given in one time and place
we are all dying
agendas reaching
we love what we love
take what we take
control the object of desire.

you give me a reason to live
shriveled agony let me go
your love is a selfish love
not meant for me
but entirely for you
look at me close
head to toe
look at me suffer
let me go.'
you dont need me to validate
you belong here
you're important
without my waning breath
you'll be ok alone.
Make me a monarch
take away this flesh and bone
butterfly my existance
beautify and glow
spirit ascending to heaven
let me go.

The jacks are jacking
undercurrents of lack
vacuuming up any sense of propriety
can i play life this
do I need your approval?
conduct this orchestration
can i please?
Break your concentration
no one's listening.

God if you're with me
Needing you now
guardian queen of angel's dreams
speak thru my mouth
I learned to die when I was five
staring straight into the sun
demanding to be alive.

I'm a consecrated lying chameleon
heartless demon
plays unfold
you must invite me in
to make me part
and you have

Lightning brings touch enclose
rays kaleidescope
powers of the sun
touching us all
touching no one
fast flow
to the quiet pool below
one lone
floats lazily on
singing the words
to a song
no one knows.

Polarity Bears

Yukon freezing dead of winter sun
damn maybe not too damn cold
Seals were jumping
eaten by majestic whales
blood guts and all
seal doritos
with a mt. dew
of Kale
"Now I told you not to go there.."
"that's now the way."
"you know you should do like me I got it right if not they'll be a fight"
Nope I'm here
making my decisions
hedonistic narcissis
sucking up life
from those around me
what is the star you carry?
Glorified with the sun.

It's freezing in the beating of the eggs
oil grease gas fires razor blades couldn't have done it better.
that shit must a hurt
can't hold his head one way only
freddie kruger from the chin down
where is your life now?

Hold your hand brown
eyes death brought you there
so young
to go now?
I'll hold the hand of the feeble, old, who know it's time to go...
Couldn't take your break
no breath
in a body so beautiful
chilled to the end.

How it goes.
The mural was the best
marilyn james dean marlon brando
walking on stars to the poor side of town
squeezed together like sardines
making it clean
Where is my Crystal spanish bear?
short mini skirts
rock stars
Brit doesn't want to give up a dime
Mickey come in my kitchen
Starship was cool.
Bringing home robert plant look alikes
spanish only
arab bystander must leave
but damn there goes the rock star
I was married ya know..
stupid bitch.

The Rainbow was the shit
The whiskey heaven bring me your feeling
your words
and we'll spread you thin across the world.
Italians are the bazeegees
money counters
lost tribe of Israel
you know you look the same...
Lebowitz courage
beautiful full view in a tub
and as I die
capture my spirit glide
above the bed to the other side
saw it on film digital
spirits fly....

There casino dream
straight flush
almost envy all around
share my wealth
share my nothingness
who am I
without a witness
can I get an amen?
A witness till the end
you see it coming
so do I
hope I'll be the one to say bye.

Beautiful peace
lightness of being
no mirrors
to eyes reflect
everything they think
I might be
just me
I'm not afraid of nothing.
My soul is dead ice
bring  your pain
take anything belonging to me
I will cut you down
no sound
but your last breath.

No matter the outside screams
inside cool
sitting back
enjoying the show.
muchas gracias for the ride...

Kandy in Jail

Candy effed up one the way to Mississippi
somewhere close to Louisiana
got caught with a mouth full of penis
rocks and speed
a pound of weed
in the trunk of her blue Mustang
guess she'll be there awhile.
Linda Blair time sweetie pie...

Kandy on the other hand
went west
accompanied by Paul, Matt, Luke, Matthew, and Paul
seven trucks in all.
Glowing mission
white sweater sparkled in the sun
like you knew
before I left, I had to go.

Policemen giving me back massages
in free motel rooms
which love me enough to give me
clothes for my trip
do they know
where I go?

How far Mr. Policeman would you have went
if I had got it on
in that free motel
maybe some head
for me
none for you
and you would slide
that black dick
between white on white on white.
Go now. That is not meant to be.

As the trip rolled on...
got a ride with a Winchester
kansas switched trucks took me all
the way
let me off in the middle of hollywood.
culture shock for me
no matter what happens I don't want to know..
cool buddy sorry for the cupcakes.
and drinking all your cocaine...

Alone in the dark
in the middle of hollywood
walk walk walk walk
hearing the Jewish chants I sit.
Safe here.
Words can deal
with the fear I feel.
then a dragon in the dark..
release yourself from this hold
2 fingers you're paralyzed
you must start again
the dragon needs to awake & move.
But I put you down & you knew...

Hispanic at crispy kreme
coffee treat
gave him two bucks
"you feel like God to me"
walking to Malibu
got a ride
with a handsome guy
flat right on the beach
beautiful malibu
the sea
outside our window
he showered me
kissed my breast
in a bed made of down & eqyptian cotton
you were cool
Bruce Springsteen spread across an entire wall.
Angels grabbed me
in time to run downtown hollywood 3am.
Only go left
Torah Jewish boy meets me takes me in.
Sleeping peacefully he looks
never touches
then lets me go.
and the story goes....

Kandy is a slut who fucks trucks somewhere in Bakersfield.

On Death and Dying

Hello out there. Highey de highey de ho.  Michael, Matthew, Andy... Take this as an official message from me. Being of sound mind and body and all that crap... Which.. who actually is? lol Of sound mind. What does that mean anyway? Anyway.. I'm getting off subject.. the other day I thought of something really hilarious...I was running through the forest.. with a good friend and we started talking about what we wanted on our tombstones.. you know.. beloved mother, daughter, wife husband..etc..and I came up with the greatest thing and I want you to do it for me.. if you don't I'll haunt your asses. 
  Ok. I want a rectangular tombstone rather large.. and completely blank except for the letters "F. U. "     LMAO.  Who could ever possibly go to that grave and be sad?  You'd have to think of me and laugh.  
   Make the letters kind of fancy but not too foo foo... nothing feminine or male.. make the letters genderless; not flowing script or blocked letters but something inbetween.
   My friend said people would probably come just to piss on the F. U. grave. "F U? Well, FU too."   Hmm... I wonder if anyone has thought of this yet? If so let me know because I want to be original.
   Print this out and keep it with your important papers because I plan on being around for the next 40 or 50 years and doubt I'll keep this Myspace that long. Ha ha... I'll be 89 and you'll have to feed me fucking oatmeal... lol
    Well, I've been up for over 24 hours and going going going... I bet my poinsetta's in farmville are fucking dead. Shit.  I forgot Mondays are long days.
    Merry Christmas!!! At work I have to say happy holidays but here Merry Fucking Christmas to you!!!!
    F. U.  just tell the undertaker my name was Felicia Unger. Even better Felicia Unger Caroline Katy Yosenia  Olivia  Underwood. Also, that you  just want to use my initials since I have such a loooong name.
   I know if I saw a grave that just said F. U., I would want to make that bitch a landmark.

Yo Mama

Pins Needles and Chains

Pins, needles, and chains
black, red, balls


black lingerie:   an oxymoron
Won't you wear my chain?
Take my words
swing them in a chair
add a strong drum


Scream,wail,cover your mouth
your evil's getting out.

Do you think I'd ever kneel?

Who's screaming now?

Knives, swords, diamonds in blood


Moonlight and Diamonds

Boots crushing snow falling faster now
laying under a million stars sparkling like diamonds
on black velvet
silk lingerie flowing to scarlet hands turning blue
satin sheets of white
to sleep.
God I'm calling....
maybe you'll answer soon.

"Wats' dat u got in ur hand?"
"Nigga it's cold as a mutha fuckah."
"let me hit that."
Into the next bar
snow keeps falling
I loved him by the red rock
but fool not this bar at this time
not at this place no way don't go.

The sound sprays brains against the mirror
where you can look at  the person
beside you picture them naked get drunker
they look better no lie
get drunker and you just might
but the mirror yeah the mirror
brain, skull, blood drains leaving mercury pools
on a sticky bar floor.
Somebody's brother
somebody's friend
somebody's daddy
Some mama crying yea she knew moment
the soul shot to the sky
knives in her heart now
but she doesn't realize.

Green pools of the sea stare sky ways
how beautiful
in the crisp air deep winter
air thins and the stars sparkle like diamonds.


How warm my bed begins to feel.
There's  no turning back when the heat seeps in
there's only sleep...
Calling God but the line is busy
I guess I'll try back later.

Dee Dee loved the sheik
and took him into her bed
"Do you think he's using me?"
"I'm not sure are you a virgin? Let me check your assets
Is your hymen intact and do you have the


to cover

your beauty let them castrate you
and let him line his front door floor?"
If so I think he likes you.
But didn't you say....

Gabriel came in time to wake me
held me in his arms
sheltered me with downy wings
"I'll never leave you now."
Happened before you were born
so it's not you
in white light shown bright as the sun
he left me his wings.


Warm cocoon bliss touch me
release my soul into a infinite molecules
spread so thin
once a block of coal buried deep
when the earth shook
the fires raged
became smoke
and rose
black rain down
to grow grass again
little pieces trapped
biding the time winter froze
dying to live again
spring came on butterfly wings
hot rain
hot winds blew
lifting me up
I flew.


People are crowding me
and you're always trying to sneak into my back door
when I've left the front  door wide open.
She wrote her name on flags
hung them from my ceiling
where I can look at them every night before I go to sleep.
Robbing me little by little of my soul
I can't even break a bowl or ruby apples against the wall
though my anger is eating me alive.
Then my lover and me took a ride
first I drove
then he drove
but we never arrived.
He wanted me to wait for him till he took care of his bizness
but I got bored and walked away.
It's fading now
and I'm left with a feeling of incompleteness.
Every morning a longing for something I don't have.

I want to spill my anger out for that evil little man
bowed back, skinny legs,
hate you so much.
remember when your inside came out
erupted like boils all over your skin
I had no compassion for you then
could have let you die.
didn't care how much pain you were in.

Now I lay me down to sleep
open up my soul
for everyone to see.


The snow's got me thinking of you
Baby I'm just lonely in my head
cause I don't have a heart.
But I need you anyway.

You have the face of an angel
the most beautiful thing
I have ever seen.
I love when you get angry
and your eyes like the sharp razor tip
of a sword
burn into me

How your beauty hides
an evil, devious, intelligent mind.
Cold and calculating you count
every tear
you make em cry.

Now I'm falling
turn the curtain back again my friends
going with Jim...
to the otherside.......

Those sharp razor tips
I want to make you angry enough
you'll wrap your ten cocks
around my neck
the last thing I see
before I get pulled through.

to be continued... one day I will have a private place to write and the time to do it.
OMG everyone is screaming good morning doesn't quite go along with getting murdered now does it?

The Street's Unfinished

I want to live on the streets
far from the conservative republican repulsion
seen when drones retaliate
leaving the scene
of the crime.
I don't want your cow, your horse, your sheep
i dont want the eight hours you keep
me chained too
i want change
not the Obama kind
God were we made for this?
hamsters on wheels
never seeing the sun
rats in cubicles
caught by the green machine?

Perfect circle
slave to my addictions
slave to my children
and my children's children
till dust becomes me


He tried to act like he knew what he was doing
such a sweet child
I wrapped my arms around him
breathing him in
such a hot child
I made him twirl
but he wouldn't beg
and when I pulled him close
he touched my hand
caressed my fingers
like he'd missed me.
I missed him too
no one smells like you do
so sweet
hot sheets and lust
fairy tales and dust
like you'd just been fucked.
Manly manna
love musk.

Honey baby sweetie pie
beautiful kisses
no lie
if you don't grow up
I'm gonna die.
sweet sweet sweet child.
Whatever you want
I'll give it to you
lay down my life
just let me drown
in your brown eyes.
just let me feel your hot lips on mine
let me go down
and take you to paradise.
let me ride the snake
yours or mine

I can't clamp down my hunger
when you're around
just want to touch you
lay you down
to sweet bliss
thorny crown
my sweet baby child
eyes of brown.

Rain Dance

Sweet indian sleep
while the panther
creeps in me
Oooozing what you need
sweet and low
grabbing ankles
hips gyrate
to the beat of me
the beat of my soul
my dreams
my love
god shoot your load in me
fall down
like rain
as I dance
with myself
I create god the universe within me
Balls of the sun
streams of white light
people spirit move me
to listen
to the words on the wind

All that is or ever was is in me
I touch you give you my light
I borrowed from the son
from the sun
hanging in the west
purple blue crayons
god is a child
when it comes to art.

The incense is calling me
to dance again
the trinity moves me
4 levels of three
birthday cake
playing again.

That song.

Mother Fucker

Don't even think to enter my space
Don't look in my god damn window
and think you own me
I'm not nobody's bitch.

Not your fucking ride
your bride
your shit

Get out of my fucking trash
with your PI bullshit
you don't have enough
to make me bleed.

With slime in
your slummin
I am what I am
now get out
and don't show your face
cuz see these wings?
they belong to me

Don't trace my ip to trusted dot org
locate my beam
red seam
on your gps
I'm nowhere near Springfield

Just as I was born, lived, and died
you might have passed by my door
but u won't no more
closed the gates
put up the wall
Motherfucker I'm home.


What do you want when you look at me?
trying so hard
trying too hard
you're too obvious
too obviously trying

U broke the sanctity of my serenity.
making me wash the blanket again
i'm sorry
but u just fucked it up.
You're like a sheep
bleat bleat
innocence drips from your eyes
like cotton candy kisses from a carnival
the roller coaster
I'm not your chess board
lesson time?
not happenin

NIghttime Streaming

The nighttime is streaming down the drain
gray clouds hold the day in
icy pavements
echo spinning tires
the workday is always beginning for someone.

Most beautiful blissful
alone feeling sanguine.
Hearing the hum
of Jungian running
white worlds 11th dimension.
Before the sun  raises
its respectful head
its glaring light
its need to do

Alone in the dark
I can examine my heart
find it lacking
examine my dreams
trace my steps backwards

Catherine needs her Voltaire
who could ever reign
without clear thoughts?

There is always a quiet breath
behind greatness
sweet whispers
slide a wet tongue
into the ears of kings
who only remember
the last words said.

Nighttime is going
screaming madness
as it fights against the dawn
holding my sword
and shield
can't keep the light at bay.

Soon rays of insight
carried down from the sun
will expose me
in all of my monstrosity
with nowhere to hide
but in sleep
fighting against the day.

Requiem for a Ghost

I'll never be free of you
smoke tendrils
flows out of your mouth
up your nose
smile lightens your face
eyes crinkle
just the way
they do
when you're in me.

Sharing shining eyes
we beat lust into submission
that slobbering drooling beast
who awakens me nightly
to feed on myself
till I'm cleansed.

But now you're here.

Sweet delicate fingers
play piano,
me as wedding crasher.
sips a sangria
watching love dance together
holding each other softly
the music,
your music,
bold and loving
caresses the ears of all
but you only have eyes for me
when you smile
my heart in my stomach
how did I ever become so blessed?

As night loses its blueness
the bright summer sun
finds me tracing
your hard nipple
with my tongue
your musk translucent
sweaty skin
your beautiful eyes close
arching your back
my love sprays diamonds
till I swallow every drop.

Laying on your stomach
now sweet in sleep
looking at you breaks my heart
why I begin to cry
I don't know.
I've never seen anyone so beautiful.
I brush your hair out of your face
you open your eyes and smile
like I am a gift
to you
a rare wonderful thing just discovered.
I kiss your neck  your face
you pull me closer
breathing me in.
If I could die right now
then let this be my end.

But it wasn't me it was you.
who turned around
walked away
told me to close the door
was it a salute
you gave me
when you walked into the gray?

Kneeling now beside your grave
smoke runs from my mouth
to my nose
my eyes crinkle
as I remember and smile
sweet music bold
plays on the wind.
delicate fingers
so long and thin
in dreams now only
play again.


Walking universes
when your needs are met
little third world country
where will your universe lie?
America loves you.
What do you have?
The United States of America.
Would you like to join us?
Our winterbirds can take a plane
by your sea shore
where the trees hide,
behind beautiful waving fronds,
your poverty.

"Aren't the locals so quaint?"

"Mildred just don't touch anything
and for God's sake don't drink the water."

Your chickens hang; blood drain
What brought God to your side of town?
Our wide open arms
enclose you
oh don't mind
the stench of disease
clouding your mind.
It's just conformity.
But we love you.

Walk the plank
with your simian ways
your childhood in the dust
who you can trust
the seed
buried in your hot sands.
The blood of your forefathers
flows from your hands.

Daddy's got something for you.
Gonna make it all alright
just forget
who you are where you came from.

We'll lull you to sleep
with a beauteous serenade
promising blond hair
bring our satellites
we'll show you how the aliens live.


My sweet
perfectly formed
angel sweet kisses
there is no betray
there is my love
it belongs to me
as a target focus  meditate
enlarge my love
to fill my house.
Then you are my survival.

secret listen.
2 parts to every story.

There is no you
there is only me.

2 Choices.

Monkey chatter holds the mind/brain/logic/what u r not.
Transcend the monkey/string puller/happen/.

Monkey smile jealously control abandon emotion; see.

Use the monkey direct within the anti matter of the soul
yes soul is quiet/monkey move
soul ka ki quiet.

The pain of your shoulder will dissipate
once the monkey is chained
soul given free reign.

The answers are there without reality's puzzle pieces.

Realize the love is yours.
The object of your affection can disappear.
But the love stays.

I saw your face sweet little girl
almost woman
as your man smiled cordial eyes drifted to my breasts.
He smiled.

RaZOR, swords, black, red,
I recognized the jealous black box
in the young girl's face
my mirror from years ago. I'm free now.

Feels good sweet girl to make you feel bad.

Hmm... who will be
the one to play now?


Let's go
with the wolves.
Cold mountain air
we are the kings up here
mountain lion's walk alone
but we are a pack
conquering the wilderness.
The pride is thinning.

Flesh is warm
teeth are strong
when the green is gone
them slow
no match for our jaws.

Blood ooze
bone crackle.
Satisfied we lie
morning sun
ten dog bed
warm and snug.

Then to run.


Long time fucking train

Was I looking for Asians
were you the one
Sunday morning paper
rolled up
couldn't tell the date
but I damn sure tried.
Just something in your eyes
if I saw them today
would it all be okay?

Can you believe it's been 10 years?
I never say what I meant
lots of times I lie
but those last words
you lurked and read
from the heart dude.
Again... it wasn't for you
because of you
it was all me, again.

I'm a selfish bitch.

Small penises have no place in my universe
I had to send
your fat ass packing
you know I heard for every 10 pounds you lose
your penis length increases an inch?
Come see me after
you lose 100 pounds.

Funniest thing
perfect position to get the head
of my life
poised mother fucker
smorgasbord of life...
Phone rings..
God Damn.. and he's even my ex.
I wanna say... Dude
you messed up my face
nothing you gotta say
could take it's place.
So we're down..
he's down..
husband scared him to death.
Sniff Sniff...
the tongue that got away.
Cry. QQ

Guess what?
The diary goes on...
Jane and Cross Eyed Mary...
ride ACROSS the grand canyon.

Latency Fix

Pectoralis moralis
The Roman one
not the modern one.

I wish I could find a damn dps
modern Niko's right
because he demands to be
The judge jury condemns.

You can't do that quest
you're now on my screen
I ....
Ill just keel up while I'm waiting.

It's all so fucking greasy.

Chaos of What ifs

What if
butterfly wings never spread
in your head
steps taken
better off dead.

The ice
is on the inside of the window
freezing  now
stone still
the movie plays.

Children at work.

The rope is thick but
with bailing string
enough to tie around my wrists
throw the heavy line
over the rafters
she can rise.

If you weren't so fat
it wouldn't take two of us to pull you up.
it's my fault.
But not fat enough to pull
my arms out of socket suckers.

So vulnerable but never again.
The child is dead.
In her place
cold stone hate.

No matter how long
it's buried
sooner or later
it's gotta rise.
Fuck you is my stance on the story.

But what if the river
behind me
steps I've taken known
will produce

Take note
you seven
I will find you.
One down six to go
how did it feel?
I know you now
as my bitch. Bitch.

When I'm done.
Then I'll cry
and maybe get on with my life.
a survivor.

Things have changed
I live in a dollhouse
two suvs in the yard
my cream has risen
to the top
look at me smile
see it's not so bad.
Innocent eyes wife and child.

With nothing to lose.

The sins of the father's visited on the sons.
Check your history books
and see where you stand.
Do I take your sacrifice?

And Mother where were you?
what did you do?
What if.
You had noticed?
Turn your eyes away
carry on with your disguise
now you slowly lose your mind
helpless chaos.

My love was a chicken
who laid a golden egg
watched as the hen
found my fate
upside down
blood drained into a cup.
Drink it up.

Ssshhh Sherezade
999 more to go
and only you know me.
Butterfly flit
flit flit flit your clit.
I think I've bought some time
with my rhyme.
Free my time
and since there is no God
no one judges me now.

Let the hammer fall.
I'm really great
at picking up the pieces
let it crash

One for

One for the kisses
two for the hugs
one for the money
2 for the drugs.

I love my sweetie pie guys.

One for the name
one for the blame
sweet noobie new guy
lying sweet, runnin game.

Now I'm curious about you baby
got my eye
on your sex
I bet you're hot exploding
bet I can make you moan.
Bet you can make me squeal.
Sounds like fun
try sum
make me wet.
make you cum.
slow and sweet
gene simmons tongue.
come on down delicious one
get u sum.

I can taste the nicotine
on your breath
as your tongue
searches mine
the smell of hard work
grease and fire
sweet soap washes you clean
next 4  hours just for me.

The way you wear your clothes
how they cling
to your legs
the beauty of your thighs
how the soft hair on your belly slides
to a v
where my mouth resides.

Love or lust?
who gives a fuck.
Just need the ride clyde,.
Come to the dark side
I'll eat you alive.
and save the sweet pieces
for the love of your life.

Russians give the BEST HEAD

Lovin the smell of leather
but you said you didn't smoke
then what's that clinging
to you like my grandpa
when your tongues down my throat?

Nyet. What do you want to do?
Get it on in a movie theatre
me and you?
I thought you said you were Jewish?
Uncircumcised fool.

I love lying eyes.
They make me smile.
Cause I'm a hell of a lot brighter than you
no deny.

But then you disappear
and my phone rings.
It's James Bond bad guys
telling me how he wants to lick me clean.
Whatcha gonna do thru the phone boy
whatcha gonna do to make me cum boy?
Enhancing what I do alone
with your gravely moan.
Favorite words
in and out
burger place
sort of ruined the mood dude.

You know what?
I think you gotta share this poem
with the Jewish man.
He thought I was an anomaly
loves animals, long walks in the park,
our love was a compromise
and how did he go down....

amusing giggley corny not there

how it felt when u through up your flare

we fucked to the theme of Titanic
like a ballet you swayed
slow and rhythmic inside and out
trying to create romance laughing out loud.
and how you screamed  I LOVE YOU
when you got the best head of your life.
you dumb fuck stupid suck
on one knee YOUR wife? laughing out out loud.
Sex is not love.
All I could think
if this is romance I'm not feeling it.
You are a stand alone cardboard cut out
tucked in my attic
best buy was the shit dude.
The matzo ball soup I made was better than your mother's
her's all butter and bland.
But you would never admit it.

Funny how sex always comes back to food.

Happy Girlie Stuff

White gloves I was gonna be
Mrs. Kennedy
beautiful dress
white stockings
matching shoes.

Go tell your dad it's time to go.
Walk across the field
mud stinking - sinkin
feet into caveman bee catchers
the latest trend of 5 B.C.

The sun was shining
brightly cool air
brightened my cheeks.

One mile later
hello Dad it's time to go
two pheasants lay
beautiful in death red blood splayed
greens translucent charmed
the round of their breasts
now in death.
He roughly thrust them at me
claws which would never cling a tree
red blood stained white gloves
two dead birds now belonged to me.
In a holding clutch as babies on their side.
If I had grace they would be alive.
My father handsome still young
needed something from me
for these birds had died
not a mourning chill forbode
but of love, forebearance, and pride.

"We will eat tonight."

Blue and Green

Darling Elena
with your shining brown eyes
open in all your nectarous warmth
hiding the scars
for now.

Beautiful girl
heart and soul so clean
behind these walls
where the child
is free from harm
you blossom
your light shines
you create
beautiful art
to give to the devil
maybe she'll love  you now.

I have just met you
and I already love you
sign your name
the gifts you give
once belonged to you
the child spirit filled
in purple hues.

Sorry I lost your number
but I wish you all the best.


can i go where the truth
doesnt hold some screaming
fallacy in my head?
she dropped in the river
in the middle of winter
she went down down down
but she didnt drown
she didnt though
she went down.

razor blades make love to emo arms
let me make you bleed
can you feel me inside?
slice.nice fucking ice
but it was the fungus muddy water
though she didnt drown.
shes already dead sleeping safe inside her head.
can you feel?

she said she envies the dead
funerals are parties
raise a glass
the final accomplishment
the goal we all share
which requirement
is to have lived
no effort
on our part
no heart
survives the love
and the kiss
lover's bliss ;  death.
but to have lived.
have you?

Just Kidding (angry as hell)

Kneeling in the woods
blood boils
anger burns
trance state chi
warrior god evil saint sinner

Fuck you and  your lying mouth
fuck you and your damaged soul
fuck you and everything that came with you
I don't want it anymore.

Off with their fucking heads.

So I ate from your tree
so I smoked your weed
so I drank two or three
so crucify me.
good company.

"This is my dream

Little 'ol me.

And... in those days they tried to be gods
in those days they made a tower to reach you
rabble rabble rabble rabble....
You lack a point of reference
I'm afraid it's something you won't understand.

Back to the woods....
there were three.
And the little indian girl played in the mud
bare feet
doing ballet
here she is free.

Merrily Merrily Merrily
life is but a dream.
Suddenly I'm not angry anymore.

You could've Said

You could've said,
no, it isn't the way you think at all
I really cared
in my heart you have
a place
for rest
and your face
brings me joy.

The universe I made
you're a part
my cozy
little circle
encircles you too
and smiles
are free
part of me.

You could have said.

Hedging me now
silence follows silence
little snatches of memory
tell me I'm right
not good enough
too many faults
too many tales to tell
about me.

How I'm this and that
how the world I made
is a broken cabin
with a floor needing sweeping.
I'm mad and the stream
flowing through to your ocean
only carries the best
drowns the rest
hands up now
drowning; you'd let me.

You don't need me to hold your head
and sing you lullabies while you sleep
love you when there was never
any reason to do so.
My cup is full, overflowing
I would have drowned you too
in laughter
and sweetness.

You could lie
now no reason to do it
I have nothing you want anymore
your desire to keep me on the shelf
is waning.
Wanting to hold on
knowing I gotta let go.

Just another chapter
where the heroine slept
as gods traipsed
heavily steps
through her soul
leaving muddy prints
larger than life
she needs to sweep away.

You could've said
no you're wrong
you could've said
a million empty words
and I would've believed.

Oh well, my love is boundless
pristine and clean
there are many many many trees
waiting for my touch
to grow.
So the book is still open
and if the god's come back
this time
I'm awake.

Amore Mio

My love's waiting
in Roma
sweet brown eyes
shy smile
can't believe
a woman like me
hard as nails
soft as oysters in a half shell
wants to bring
him to life
hold his head
love him.

Suspend my disbelief
open myself
to trust
absolution of soul
dreaming fairy tales
for the next few months
love games.

Mirror image woman
not me
yesterday's woman is gone
hope returns
if I open the red door
The universe smiles and nods
He says he loves my eyes
my hair
he wants to build me a castle
in the clouds
and I think I'll let him.

Jez Fez

Might as well let it down
no one come around anymore
to gawk
to hawk
fly over the rainbow she sang
before she was pushed face down
in the snow.

So it drank till she stank
walkin cripple proud
puffin loud
let u down
let u down
let u down.

I gotta snake
I gotta long snake
twisting around my neck
making mirages
magician you are
and I believe
something behind.

Wish I never met you
never darkened my sun
with your rum
and your lies
let you inside the foyer
but never my mind
all smoke
on my side.

I know how to play
I know them well
since fourth grade
chess man
your move
pawn to queen
sitting hidden in the trees

what did you hope to find?

Love and Mountain Lions

Who could stay inside?
when it shines this bright?
Heliotrope and lavender
dying, a red fire raging
soothing blue
till the luminosity fades.

Green drips from the leaves
earth sucks me down
planting me.

A hard malice on the wind
makes dogs howl and whimper
black mud gurgles
as the air is pulled
through my bare feet.

An odor acidic
burns the nose
a tail swishes
in the trees
feline absolute

Queen of the forest
to your sovereignty
I bow.

The Gods say:
"One to wake, one to sleep,
one to climb, one to vine;
one the forest to keep.
Of your love sublime
only in your mind
perfidy brings happy control
to forget
the lion never sleeps."

Two feet from death
and I am blissful.
Isn't this what love is for?

Jolly Old Soul

Jolly old soul
smile. nod.
"I'm perfectly happy he's gone all day,
this is what I wanted someone I love set out to play
who would want his beautiful face hanging around all day?"

But Isis I know better, I know you well
you are convoluting in your own private hell.
Israelie user, abuser, with your life on a string
what  you want he aint got
but you're stuck anyway.

Lets walk the silent stream
you and me
bubbling brook
malachite trail
moss overridden
the holy grail.
Lets pull back the curtain
and go inside
the deepest reaches
of your mind.

Soothing hand smooths
the hair from your eyes
liquid deep
stare up in surprise.
Desire to mold your lips
and chin
chisel your cheeks
into marble refined
capture your mummery
til the package is mine.

Jolly old soul it's a picture
you've painted so beautifully
he doesn't exist
a caricature
you've made
so even though you're linked
you can still get away.

I have a hammer
an ice pick too
I'm here for awhile
here to rescue you

Lets cut away his righteous skin
chisel him down
see where he's been.

Once the clay is broken
the canvas slashed
he stands before us
completely bare assed.

How many dwarves can you fit
in someone who's 6 ft 2 ?
they're running now
and it's quite a few.

And they're all deformed
as a Spartan snitch
growling,spitting--throwing fits.
There are snakes, bugs, puppy dog tails
blood and juice, slimy entrails.

Is this who you've built your world upon?
is this the tears in the night
wailing siren song?
Dear Isis, my dear
my jolly old soul
I would trade six of him
for a worm in a hole.

So come sit beside me
I'll make you complete
will dine on cucumbers sandwiches
sweet wine at our feet
I'll spin tails of what love is
we'll pick our teeth with his bones
realize we are what we need
together alone.

Deformed dwarves can scurry
wonder what went wrong
when he played it all so beautifully
he was just singing the wrong song.

Just for Me

Heat and sweat
for hours you've told me who you are
your most intimate moments
came deep inside me
looking for answers
Sleeping deep now
even breathing
linen crumpled but fresh
lifting blue curtains
aloft in the wind
snuggling against your back
sweet sleep.

Walking now
trees whisper
there's more if you
just open
your mind
the radio played
every song
they wanted to be hits
now when I hear them
it takes me back
to you
and your bed made by hand
your mediocre love making
your lack of drive
the soft way
you melted into nothing
and I thought you were king.

I didn't think my love would end
left alone
holding on to air
looking for a footing
but finding none.

I wanted to bring you back from the dead
dead hand
curved arm
lights dimming in your eyes
one armed push ups
for a moment to be God
direct your path
but I never loved you
did you keep my words
in a frame by your bed?
A shrine to me?
strangely pleasing.

I saw the look in your eyes
when I passed by
like the bottom fell
out of your stomach
your eyes wide in surprise
a child?
bless you I did well
took enough dirt off the grave you dug
for you to breath
then slipped off into the shadows
to watch you proceed.

I'm disintegrating
turning into warm baked bread
dinner at 5
taking what was once given freely
watching the parade
in a comfortable chair.


When I thought you could be the one
to tell my dreams too
to cling too
to scream too

Flim flam
joe man

How could you?

You lie to me still.
Swallow this pill
does it still exist
behind your judas kiss?

Maybe I expect too much
maybe being human
being what we want
is what we want
at the time
in our minds
it's alright

Why expect more
from a skanky whore
spread em
yea glorrious...
was it worth it?

If I slit my wrists
am I worth my blood
if I said I forgive you
would it be enough
If I said just love me
and we'll survive
if I said
if I said
you can have your other guys?

I'm going to sleep
I've written you out
played it out
a million times
just know I know
and I'm not a fool
Know that you're creepin
mind bendin freakin
i turn my back
going down
given heart attacks
to every joe, lindon, jewels & jack
baby shut yo mouth
it's my heart
i'm takin back.

If I slit my wrists
am I worth my blood
if I said I forgive you
would it be enough
If I said just love me
and we'll survive
if I said
if I said
you can have your other guys?


Fuck the stream the parallels
the shitty paradigms
dronish accumulation
Desire to be
hermit, homeless

Fuck love which fades
replaced by boredom
lost lust

no square
no corner
no cave
to hide

Why would one bacteria care
if the second
said "cheers"
drank some penicillin

Be fruitful and multiply
spread the disease
it is our cause
our purpose
to expand
aggrandize amplify
black river runs
brown smoke churns
devouring blue skies
masticating hillsides
till all that is left bone, rock, sand.

Blood Guts and Television

Blood elves suck the pus
from my rotten toes
I'll never walk again.

Dangling misshapen phalanges
scrape the cave walls.
I'm trapped.

Unable to climb up
shards of glass & nails
rip my palms till I'm bleeding.

Why was I listening
when the voice said, "join us"?

Crabs in a bucket.
Shadows on the wall.
Just two minutes all it took
for my soul to be captured.

Buy me, eat me, envy me.
Solve me, laugh with me, puzzle over me.
Need me, want me
addict me
to your colors
your drama
forget with me.

Leaves me bleeding in a corner
fat asses on power chairs
slowly wind
their way
to comply
with the jaws
of mega commerce.

Instead of blow
no glass pipes
obvious smells
just the laughter track
loudly played
to neighbors
through walls
accepted  junkieness.

All along the monster lurks
in the corner.
Feed me.
"I desire cocoa puffs"
"I desire no streak cleaning."
You desire the wife
cut up
in a suitcase
thrown over a bridge
in cement
could someone like me
do it for the money?

Stopping to gawk
at the 1000 pound man
wondering if I could fuck that
what would it feel like
to be lost
in rolls
looking for a needle
in a haystack.
could he still get it up?

A canary lights on my shoulder
somewhere close
there's breathable air
the blood elf
finishes his meal
somewhere there is light
but for now I live in the shadows.

Just insane

Screaming absolution
beating my children
kung fu style
bruce lee got nothing on me.

Smokin crack at 35 west motel
but I wasn't really
that's just a tale.
I was really in the back
of a cop car
on my way to jail.

Got some steel reserve
got some green
got some gutter brand mojitos
got some ghetto gasoline.

Gonna fire up
and walk real slow
gonna take my brain
for a walk
gonna flow

Wailing on some ICP
ninja down
the place to be
dead babies
got me a necklace
of the finest
you and me....

Gonna take me a walk
in the ghetto
gotta be free.

So all you clowns
wit yo brown eyes
and all you green eyed fools
stand back
white girl attack
just me and my paaaaaaahseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

So fuck you I'm down
fuck you I'm around
you white trash hippy
stop talking shit
it aint it
when u talkin to me.

Your bags are skimmed
skinned like ur gonna be
if u keep fuckin me
you'll see
homie don play that.
or is it dat.
Homie don play dat.
that's that
wit me b
msn cumbucket
messin up my spree
when all I wanna see
is some black boy
some torso on a couch
or some hot assed
brown eyed guy
givin a girl a douse.
so many things
you can do with my mouth.


That bitch is craz-A

Holograms and Prisms

Or maybe just like me the light is broken
frog, troll, village folk
peasants wading in mud
what can you expect?
maybe a crust of bread
some muddy soup
he loves her in a dress
stronger than an ox
she tip toes around
concealing her strength
pale green wrap skirt
white shirt small pink flowers
ass like iron
able to crush a man in a single thrust.
Her sweet voice carries on the air
but I love her.

They're wailing in the streets
and gnashing of teeth
millions drowning the monster
in champagne
in blunts
in cracks
they crawl
screaming the praises of the elite
riding our backs with whips
"we will swallow you and spit you out"

Been killed by a spike through my head
I've been ground up
run through like sausage and
packed in a transparent skin.
I have been tied and chained
stretched and burned
decapitated by a look.

It's time for the springing
sweet water falls
wash away down the drain
time to melt
love; an unruly concept
play your music on my skin
while I remember what it's like to be nothing
and everything
the universe
a point of light
grain of sand

Hate poetry

I hate you.
No. I don't really.
I hate myself.
No. That's not quite right.
I hate abandonment.
Yeah. That's about right.
I hate the feeling in my stomach
when I make the choices I do
without thinking it through
hanging from a tree
that's me.

There should be a box
marked exit
a steel closet
when it's time to go
no more bills, money,longing,wish of
step right in--

But there's a law against


Everyone should have a choice.

I hate.
I hate.
I hate.

Vomit Polaris

In the north sea
with whales, dolphins, anemones
tick tick tick

Stage one
my head falls off
stage two
my throat explodes.

Two stage ballistic.



Ode to my vagina
butterflies don't bleed
or do they?
she's been cut
the dr says it's best dear
now riding horses will be ez.

Ode to my long lost clit.
I miss you so.
You were magnificent
my little lost penis
how I adored you
the orgasms we shared
you were always there
to read to
to dream with
to guard my pussy
in sleet, rain, snow,
suck or blow.

I guess I'll get along
now that you're gone
I've learned to adapt
to move on
not so strong now
but still not too bad.

I still hate.

You and you and especially you.