hmmmm

it's closed now but 
the triad's dancing
the tears are on the edge of my eyes
but they're not falling
even though
you're on my mind
it's just a walk
and it all melts
away
if you want it to.

i commit myself to your needle
and the way
it sweetly tears my flesh
revel in the sun
revel in the mind
revel in the fact
i am my sun
stars
moon
one
among
many.

you want to hear a fairy tale
of sweet music in the night
how i followed you
to the ends of the universe
just to taste your tongue 
on my mouth
and to drown
in you

i did. 

then i awoke
alone
feeling my own flesh
and smelling my smell
and i was in love
how soft 
precious
and sacred
invincible
in my aloneness
timeless.

but your eyes follow me
and your presence 
surrounds me
i can feel your breath in my ear
your tongue on my cheek
no matter how 
i want you to leave
you cling
and pull
you dance 
seen before
stronger force
than any god.


a whirlwind 
tornado blowing
chills in the moonlight
his hallelujah
is my nightmare
of disappearing 
into you.


fighting
resisting
what if i fell
got into the pit
belly crawled
begged
at your feet do your best
the thought
makes me want to open my wrists
and bleed
till i couldn't feel anymore.


so the tears stay on the edge of my eyes
closed now 
into the universe
abides
stays
loving all
by loving no one
'come back down to earth'
she says
toes in the sand
when i'd rather stay in the clouds
blowing away into nothing


do you remember when it was easy
the light only stayed till 30
we were happy then
never had time to be sad
each minute 
cherished 
as they dropped all around us
we smiled 
waltzing in powder and paint
their concern
was not ours
we were untouchable
in stone and flowers
gardens
where no garden
should ever be
far from the cries
in the street
and the needing to be
then we sort of lost our heads
the many out weighing the needs of the few.
damn. adieu. 
it was fun while it lasted. 


i see you're making your way
with smiles
while i can't let go of the past
sleeping all the time
trying to get back
to something understood
failing to trust
i know what's best
failing to remember
it's just a dance, a promenade,
i can create, attract,
and bend;
to bring
what i need.


this time i don't want to
i'm tired of playing masquerade
tired of charades
tired of the 'toast before dying'
i carved your name into my wrist
to remind me
to be the wolf and not the prey
sweet rabbit run
very much strength
with very little effort
built the pyramids in a day.


i am a speck in all that there is
a dot at the end 
of a great design
with no design
chaos
well planned
with no plan
and the old man drives his car
past my window 
and i cringe
to be where he is.