Time

I need some time
alone
more alone
than I am now
a solid
spacious solitude
which invites no eye,
no voice.

I need to leave behind
these sprites of youth
with drama dreams
and boundless capacities to consume.

There is nothing for me here.

Need to disconnect
my buffering stream
imaginings
silly dreams
and try to remember what's real.

Can't trust my own feelings
out of boredom
they fail me
and God am I bored.
Listless.
In so much pain
drifting
floating
reacting
swallowed by nothingness.

Wanting to leave this stage
and all the players behind
the show
was over years ago
audience long gone
but for some reason
I'm still running my lines
to an empty room.

God if I had only turned right
instead of left
of I had only ran
instead of stood still.

I see the way
it's all too clear
know exactly what I need to do
but am I strong enough?
There is no crutch; no hero
I must stand on my own.